It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
