dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
