ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
