Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
