How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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