Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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