i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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