i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize