worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You took a bar mat shot.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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