How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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