plz talk dirty to me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
