So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
