doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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