Dual....:-)
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
