i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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