so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
