Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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