why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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