..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You are the jesus of drinking
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
