my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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