Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize