So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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