so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
