He kissed a someone with a penis
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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