shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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