You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
