There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
