I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
