hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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