Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
tell me about the eggs
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
