seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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