Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
