Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
