I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
