Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
