Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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