Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
