oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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