they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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