I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
