We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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