I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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