After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
