Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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