Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
