just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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