It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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