The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
