i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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