Do you still have your period?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
