you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
