all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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