Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
