that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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