some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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