Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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