i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
