Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
