Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
