Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
