He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
