Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Randomize
